Friday, July 24, 2015

In search of perfect underpants

“You will treat my underwear with the reverence it deserves.” ― Molly Harper, How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf

MEN, you don't know this, but for women, finding just exactly the right undergarments is a challenge. 

For now I will address only the underpants dilemma. 

If a woman happens to be of a certain age and above — I'm going to take a rough stab and say 40-plus, she did not come of age wearing thongs — or butt floss, as Paul calls them.

There is one (and only one) advantage to thongs, and that is that they leave no VPL. What?!?! What?!?! You don't know what a VPL is? Visible panty line, of course,

And for a person like myself who would prefer there be no public knowledge of anything on or about my posterior (you see what a sacrifice this blog post is) — no line created to call attention to or encourage a potential gazer to speculate as to the nature of the garment or the body beneath it, not having a VPL is a considerable benefit. 

The downside of a thong is (duh) discomfort.

So when I discovered the "Very Sexy" line of Victoria's Secret women's undergarments, it was a hallelujah moment, and I bought at least a dozen pairs. 

Here's what made them perfect: There is no elastic or hem or any other thickening to the fabric at the top or on the legs. The fabric is itself gently elastic and very, very thin so as to stay in place, yet be invisible. The edges of the leg are even scalloped to even further avoid creating any kind of a line. 

They were ingenious. They were perfect. They were utterly invisible underneath clothing while still providing all the comfort of normal i.e., non-thong underpants.

So what did Victoria's Secret do? Stop making them of course.

They still make a line called "Very Sexy," but they are not the same!!! My suspicion is that they discontinued them because they were not only perfect, but it took years, literally, years for them to wear out. Women would never buy others in pursuit of better ones, and they wouldn't need to buy more of these oftener than every 10 years! 

I have spent at least four trips around the sun and many wasted dollars looking for a suitable replacement. At last I've found something close. Not as perfect, mind you, because they lack the scalloped leg edges, but very close.

They're made by Calvin Klein and are $12 a pair, although I got mine on sale, so I paid, I think, $8.00 each. They are SO worth it!

Below is a photo and a close-up of the skew tag so you can identify them if you want to enjoy wearing invisible underpants with no discomfort.

I consider this a selfless act of public service to women of the world. You're welcome. 

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