Monday, March 2, 2015

And now the hot messes

“But the boy's remark, which had been heard by the bystanders, was repeated over and over again until everyone cried: ’The boy is right! The Emperor is naked!’” — Hans Christian Andersen, The Emperor’s New Clothes

AS USUAL there were more ordinary and awful dresses at the 2015 Oscars than there were beautiful and brilliant. Here's my personal list of the awfuls.

Blanca Blanco's dress isn't awful. It's just that it could have been stunning if only 
the designer hadn't added saddlebag to the hip and made a messy, shapeless top.

There's nothing wrong with Dorith Mous' dress — except that she's 
wearing it. She's too skeletal for it, and the shoes are ridiculous.
Gayle King wearing a not very flattering wedding dress.

Solange Knowles: Being different for the sake of being different isn't
necessarily good. This dress looks too alien-outfit or Sprockets for my tastes.

Carmen Ejogo grabbed her Victoria's Secret nightgown and wore it.
Nicole Kidman wearing bland, boring and unflattering by who-cares.
Brooke Anderson: Too costume-y and too much froo-froo.
Jennifer Lopez: We know you have breasts. You don't have to
keep showing them to us as a reminder.
Lady Gaga: What a gorgeous voice and gown. If only she hadn't added the clown gloves.

Naomi Watts: Too much side boob plus it looked wacky from
the back. Too bad because the fabric is wonderful.

Emma Stone's dress made it on several best-dressed lists, but IMHO hardly anyone looks 
good in acid green, plus it wasn't terribly flattering (two pictures down) except straight on. 

Jennifer Aniston: This dress of seven-veils landed Jen on many bestdressed lists. Are 
you kidding me? It looks like all you're wearing is Spanx and some curtain shears..
Neither woman shown to advantage by either dress.

Selma director, Ava DuVernay, made a great movie, but chose a bad dress.

You're way past the point of wearing this, Jane Fonda.

Andrea Riseborough's dress is so wrong in so many ways,
that one hardly knows where to begin.

Chrissy Teigen: Wear clothes, for heaven's sake.

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