Thursday, February 28, 2013

Elizabeth Warren for Pope

“When Benedict dies, he will have the pleasure of standing before whatever furious God he believes in, to answer for how it was that he knew for undeniable fact that one -- if not dozens -- of his priests repeatedly molested, abused and/or raped young children for decades, and he did nothing to stop it. How much does God believe the pope's argument that Vatican PR trumps pedophilia? Joe Ratzinger, 82, will soon find out.” Mark Morfordcolumnist and culture critic for the San Francisco Chronicle and

I PROPOSE THAT Elizabeth Warren take over as the new Pope. Her ascent would simultaneously:

A) Do away with clergy celibacy. (What could possibly go wrong with having 405,000 men who aren't permitted to marry or have sex working with boys and girls in a close and 'fatherly' way?) She's married and has two children, so she's obviously not been celibate unless we're looking at another miracle here. Well, she is pretty much a miracle worker, but not that kind.

B) Reduce misogyny by eliminating bans on female priests and birth control. 

And I bet she'd kick some behind in terms of cleaning the place up. And I don't mean dusting.

Her Popeness.

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