Monday, October 22, 2012

Going their separate ways

"When people divorce, it's always such a tragedy. At the same time, if people stay together it can be even worse." Monica Bellucci, Italian actress

RECENTLY WE LEARNED that a couple we know well is divorcing, and even though in this case the only surprise is that the marriage lasted as long as it did, still I feel sad. I'd hoped to be proven wrong. Invariably, after learning about the divorce of someone I know, even if it's only my dentist, I have unsettling dreams for a night or two. What can I say, I'm a sensitive soul. 

One interesting phenomena is the "late in life, after many years of marriage" divorce. It seems like there have been quite a few of them in the news lately. Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito are divorcing after 30 years together. Word has it that Rhea finally got fed up with his womanizing ways. Yup. He has a lot of power in Hollywood and apparently doesn't mind using it to bed starlets. That divorce falls into the category of "what took you so long?" His bedding of starlets falls into the category of "Eewwwwww!"

Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman.

Also in WTYSL category Maria Shriver and Aahnold. She should have given him the heave ho long ago IMHO. She started dating him in 1977 and married him in 1986. Amazing that it took her 34 years to finally have had it with his extracurricular activities. It's not like there weren't plenty of clues along the way what with the spate of sexual harassment claims made against him.


Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

But Al Gore and Tipper; that was disappointing. They were high school sweethearts and married for 40 years. I guess you can't take anything for granted even after that long. Though they're just separated, not legally divorced yet, still the buzz is that they're both dating other people. 


The famous kiss.

I was also sad to see Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon hit the skids. I had a definite vested interest in rooting for that long-term relationship. She's 12 years older than he is, and I'm 13 years older than Paul. They were together for 23 years; we've been together almost 21. So no falling down on the job for either one of us!


Susan and Tim. I was sorry to this one fail.

And then there's Mary Ann Mobley and Gary Collins. Gary passed away October 13. They had been married for 45 years, separated in 2011, but reconciled in 2012. The separation might have had something to do with his alcohol consumption. He was convicted of drunk driving for the second time in 2008, and he had a third conviction in 2009 with a blood alcohol level more than three times the legal limit. In 2010 he was charged with and paid a fine for leaving the scene on an accident, and in 2011 he was charged with a felony for walking out on a restaurant bill. 


Gary Collins and Mary Ann Mobley.

I was once told by someone knowledgeable that 80% of women stay with their alcoholic husbands, whereas 80% of men leave their alcoholic wives. I don't know if it that's exactly accurate, but it feels about right.

To my young friend, currently married to an unfaithful alcoholic who drinks and strays while she takes care of their two daughters and works to support the family: I hope you'll be one of the courageous 20% and leave. Squash any guilty feelings you might have about separating the girls from their dad — he's not actually "there" anyway, and think instead of how important it is for your girls to see you model self-determination and self-respect instead of perpetual victimization. You can do it, Ally.
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2 comments:

  1. visiting here with a smile. take care.. have a nice day ~ =)

    Regards,
    http://www.lonelyreload.com (A Growing Teenager Diary) ..

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  2. Hi Mr. Lonely,

    If you have a sincere and honest heart, I feel sure that the right young lady will find you, and you will not be lonely much longer. I admire your English skills and your tenacity at writing every day!

    ReplyDelete